Tell The People

My sweet momma is 87 years old and has Alzheimer's. It is a terrible disease that has taken away much of the person she once was. Yet there is much of her personality still intact. One day I asked her how old she was. She answered that she didn't know, so I followed up by asking how old she thought she was. "I don't know.....twenty?" Her reply made me smile, after all, don't we all feel like we're still twenty down deep inside.

On another occasion when I asked her age, and again she had no idea, I told her how long she had lived and that she had a wonderful life. Then I asked, "Have you done everything you wanted to do?" She quietly shook her head. "What more would you like to do, momma?" Her answer touched me deeply and has rested on my heart, "Tell the people I love them." Wise words from a wise woman.

The past few years have instilled upon me some very important lessons: Life is a very precious and fleeting thing. We can't take it for granted. Each and every day is truly a blessing.

As we gather with family and friends this holiday season I hope we can all honor my dear momma's wish.

Have a Memorable Thanksgiving

and Don't Forget to

 Tell the People You Love Them.

Joys Jots: The Gift of a Day

Saturday morning I woke feeling horrible. I had the kind of headache that no amount of Tylenol seemed to budge. 
 

I was achy all over and went back and forth from feeling chilled to burning up. I had only enough energy to pull myself out of bed, walk into the living room and collapse on the couch just so that I could have a change of scenery as I dozed in and out of conscientiousness throughout the day.

During one of the rare moments when I was fully awake I thought of the list of chores I had written for the day. It was practically the same list I had every Saturday: Laundry, Cleaning, Groceries, Purchase a Card for a Friend, Bake Cookies. 

Nothing on the list was eventful; most items were boring and mundane and yet at that moment I realized that even the boring and mundane parts of life were precious. Cleaning and groceries were one way of giving my love to my family, buying a card would encourage a friend, baking cookies for another friend showed my support for her and her family. 
   If we are in tune life has a way of teaching us how tender and precious it is. Unfortunately those lessons often come through illness, injury, or death. Perhaps it is because in those unfortunate moments we are finally forced to stop and realize the simple yet significant events that we take for granted every day. 
   Today I am feeling much better. I have added a few more chores to my list and I am happy to be able to do those seemingly boring and mundane tasks. Today I have a deeper appreciation of how those tasks touch the lives of those around me and of how fortunate I am to have the health and strength to do them. Today I am very grateful for the gift of a day.
 

Joys Jots: A Life Well Lived

When I began this blog I wanted to remain anonymous. I am a very private person by nature. This blog was only meant to be a place to share my creative projects, not my life. But since this blog began I have had my fair share of "adventures" that have opened my life and made it more public. This has caused me to reexamine my goals. I believe life gives us experiences, both good and bad, to teach us. We can choose to learn the lessons and share with others or we can mope, complain, and grouch to others (and occasionally we can do both). I hope you don't mind if I begin to share some life lessons that come my way in the form of "Joy's Jots."  My goal is that in the sharing we might both to have more JOY in our home and in our life.
  
Just days before Christmas my husband's co-workers came to our home on two separate occasions to surprise us with multiple boxes of gifts. I was humbled, delighted, and beyond grateful for their kindness and charity. My sweet companion passed away nearly nine months earlier and yet his co-workers still loved him and missed him so much that they wanted to give to his family. They had already been incredibly generous to us after his death. What is most amazing is these are not people with whom he had worked with for years and years. After losing his own business my husband had taken this job just over a year and a half previous to his death. He was one of the oldest employees and many of the others were the age of our oldest children. They barely knew my husband and had only met the rest of our family at his funeral and yet they came bearing several gifts, months later, to bless our family. We laughed and cried as they told stories of the fun times and memories they had working alongside their beloved co-worker.

On Christmas morning I sat contemplating and staring at one large pile of presents. My thoughts were of gratitude. I was grateful for the givers and thankful for the life my husband lived. These gifts were given to our family because my husband had lived a good life. He was a man with no enemies. He never burned a bridge. He formed friendships easily, even with people he had only talked with on the phone. He always tried to see the positive. He would fill the room with his large personality and infectious enthusiasm. He worked hard, loved life, and enjoyed people. He made it a point to let others know of his love for them. The way he lived was a gift to all who knew him. Now, even in his death, his life was still bringing his family bounteous gifts. 

 

It was sobering for me to realize just how much living a good life can affect others long after we are gone from this earthly existence. It caused me to make a resolve to live better, to give more of myself to those I love, and to be more useful to my fellowman. 

We rarely get the opportunity to truly witness how our actions affect those we love but those stacks of boxes were a very tangible evidence of the gift of a life well lived. 

To Please Or Not To Please

I started to paint my dining room wall more than a month ago and it still isn't finished! It has a few more coats of paint from techniques that I've tried and hated, but that is the only progress that I can report. It has been a source of frustration for weeks. The more frustrated I got with the wall the more I began to question, "Who am I trying to please?"Blogs are wonderful whether you write them, read them, or both. They can provide inspiration and motivation. Blogs can become one of the greatest sources for trying new ideas in our homes. However I've discovered that, for me, it's important to ask myself if my motivation for making change is because I really love and desire the change or is it because it's the popular thing to do? In other words who am I trying to please? On occasional I have fallen into the trap of creating things simply for a blog post, or because I think my readers will love it, or because I've seen the idea on several blogs so I feel the need to have it in my home. Interestingly enough I don't always recognize my motivation for creating but I do recognize that the item quickly becomes something that I don't truly love in my home. It doesn't reflect my taste because I did it to please someone else and I wasn't being true to myself.
Blogs aren't the only trap we can find ourselves caught in when trying to be true to ourselves in decorating our home. Recently I had a design appointment with a new client. As she took me through her home she would point out in nearly every room an item that someone gave her. I could tell in her voice that these were not items that she loved. The items were placed there simply because she felt a sense of obligation to the giver. She kept the item in her home because she wanted to please the giver. Yet the giver of the gift rarely, if ever, visited her home. I asked her the question, "If someone gave you a blouse that was a color you disliked, a pattern or cut that simply wasn't you, or that didn't fit, would you feel that you needed to wear it all of the time?" When her response was no, I asked, "Then why do you do that with things in your home?" I understand that there are some things given to us by those we love and/or live with that we feel obligated to keep. I know that we often have to make compromises in our home because of our loved ones, but that should not be the entire design of our home. Just as it's okay to keep the ugly blouse in the back of the closet, we can put the less desired, making a compromise, pleasing our loved one objects in a less prominent area of our home.
Our home is just that, OURS. Homes should be the one place where we find true comfort. They should be the one place that truly reflects who we are. Our home should be a haven where we please ourselves, where we are authentic to ourselves and our family.Today look around your home. Does it reflect who you are and please you? Or does it contain far too many things that please someone else? If so, I give you permission, just as I did for my client, to put away or give away those items that please someone else. Then go ahead and replace them with items you love because that is how you discover the real joys of home!

Hints of Past, Present, and Future

Once again I seem to have disappeared from the blogging world. After several years of blogging there is one thing that I have come to know: Time spent with family and friends is more important than any blog post that I could create. Time is such
a precious commodity and I am striving to spend my time as wisely as possible.Last week I attended the funeral of a wonderful man. I listened as the speakers praised his life. Each acknowledged his devotion to his family, church, community, and country. They told of his attributes of kindness, charity, service, gratitude, and love. I reflected upon my own life. How do I want to be known? As a loving wife, a devoted mother, an adoring nonny, a kindhearted friend, someone who could make you laugh, a generous soul, a woman who knows God and whose words and actions reflect her religious beliefs, an inspiration, faithful, considerate, talented, appreciative, creative, giving, gracious. . . and the list continues. Did I even think to add "great blogger" to the list? The answer is, "No." Please don't misunderstand. I really do love blogging. It motivates me to learn and create and get out of my comfort zone. But, as with anything in life, when it becomes my only focus I become unbalanced and unhappy. And so as I enter into my fourth year of blogging I am determined to keep things in perspective. What does that mean? Well, just to name a few. . .It means that I will be a better steward of my time, talents, and energy. I will use my blog to document the things I make and do in my home instead of using my home to make a blog. I will cease doing "fluff" projects just for the sake of posting. I will try to refrain from comparing my home and blog to others. I will stop buying thrifted items merely because they will make for a great "before and after post."
Blogging can be a great blessing, but it can also be a bit of a curse. I am learning that the trick is to not allow blogging to become a bigger part of life than the life I am living and blogging about.
If you have endured my ramblings thus far I want you to know that I am ever appreciative of the time you spend here. You have supported me as I have weathered a few storms over the past year and I am thankful to you. I am humbled by you and am grateful for your influence. You inspire me and I am honored to be a small part of your life. Truly!
This photo will give you a hint as to why I took a break from blogging last week.My only daughter, who lives too far away, was in town. She and her hubby are pregnant with their first child; a girl. We spent the week planning, reminiscing, laughing, crying, loving, and attending baby showers. It was delightful!!! She left for home today and so to ease the pains of separation I will be cleaning up these exciting finds from the Habitat store, as well as picking and buying paint for a few projects.I am trying to prepare my home for an exciting event. I hope that you will join me in viewing the homes of several talented bloggers. My goal is to be able to tour each of these beautiful homes looking for inspiration and appreciating the gifts and talents that others have been given. The Parade of Homes will be a great source to gladden, excite, motivate and invigorate---as long as we resist to compare and compete. Mark your calendar and be prepared to be inspired!

Happy Independence Day!

Wishing you a wonderful Fourth of July,
enjoying your family, friends and freedom!

Have a happy and safe holiday weekend!

Jots of Joy

Wishing You

a Beautiful Weekend
and
a Wonderful Mother's Day!

A Special Thank You

To my new friends

I APPRECIATE YOU!

Jots of Joy

Have a terrific weekend!

Jots of Joy

"It isn't the great big pleasures
that count the most;
it's making a great deal out of the little ones."
--— Jean Webster

Jots of Joy

"Write it on your heart
that everyday
is the best day
in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Jots of Joy

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Laugh.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends.
Choose with no regret.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
---Mary Anne Radmacher