Dear Mr. Weed,
Will you please explain why you appear in my yard year after year. Your behavior is unacceptable. I have never given you an invitation and yet you and all of your relatives continue to arrive despite my efforts to keep you out.How is it that you can grow double the size of the flowers that I fertilize? Why do you try to crowd out my little pretties? How is it that your Weed relatives can look so different and yet have the same annoying behavior?Your Weed kin try to camouflage themselves as pretty blossoms and then they morph into nightmarish evil spawn to cause me further torment.For your information, I have hired the biggest, baddest bouncer in town to get you out of my yard for good. Consider this your final warning!